self-compassion – Gay Men's Brotherhood

When To Get Off the Apps (And When to Go Back On)

Apps are a huge part of modern gay life. We delete them, reinstall them, swear them off, go back on, and keep trying to figure out whether they’re helping us connect or quietly getting in the way. In this episode, we’re talking about app seasonality: that on-again, off-again relationship many gay men have with the apps, and the skill of knowing when they’re serving you, when they’re draining you, when to use them…and when to lose them. We’re getting into: Whether you’re on the apps, off the apps, or currently “just checking who’s nearby,” this conversation will help you bring more honesty, agency, and self-trust to the way you use them. Today’s Hosts: Support the Show – viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes – CONNECT WITH US – – LEARN WITH US –

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When Feeling Bad Is Good For You

Kim Gatab

Feeling bad is not a flaw in the human experience. It’s an essential life skill for anyone who wants a life of love, growth, satisfaction, and intimacy— all of it requires the capacity to feel discomfort without running from it. In this episode, Michael and Matt make the case for feeling bad on purpose: when to sit with an emotion, when to change your mindset, and why emotional avoidance often costs us more than the original pain. We get into: The goal isn’t to be happy all the time — it’s to become someone who can feel bad without abandoning yourself or shrinking your future. Today’s Hosts: Support the Show – viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes – CONNECT WITH US – – LEARN WITH US –

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How to Build Unshakeable Confidence

Michael DiIorio

This episode of Gay Men Going Deeper is less of a casual conversation and more of a confidence masterclass. One you’ll likely want to come back to again and again. We break down what real, unshakeable confidence actually is (and what it isn’t). Not the loud, performative kind, but the grounded confidence that comes from self-trust, self-compassion, and emotional regulation. We talk honestly about why confidence can feel harder for gay men, how minority stress and shame shape a harsh inner critic, and how we deal with setbacks. In this episode, we cover: If you’ve ever looked confident on the outside but felt shaky on the inside, this episode will help you understand why, and give you a clear, grounded path forward. Save this one. It’s the kind of episode you’ll get something new from every time you listen. Today’s Hosts: Support the Show – viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes – CONNECT WITH US – – LEARN WITH US –

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Grieving Your Past

Michael DiIorio

Grief isn’t just about death—it’s also about the quiet losses we carry as we grow and evolve. In this episode, we’re kicking off a 4-part series on grief by exploring what it means to grieve your past. Whether it’s a version of yourself that felt more confident, more desirable, or more socially “relevant,” we often feel a deep emotional pull toward who we used to be. From aging and identity shifts to the grief of letting go of our dreams, we’re diving into the invisible grief that comes with change. We discuss: This conversation is about honoring who you were while embracing who you’re becoming. Related Episode: Today’s Hosts: Support the Show – viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes – CONNECT WITH US – – LEARN WITH US –

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How to Soften the Inner Critic

Matt Landsiedel

In this episode, Matt speaks with author and love advocate, Scott Stabile. Together, they break down the psycho-spiritual aspects of the inner critic and how to best work with it from a place of love. If you are someone who is hard on yourself and has a tough time finding self-love and self-compassion, this episode will help you develop greater awareness of your inner critic, where self-judgment originates, and how you can start practicing more acceptance of yourself and others through presence, love, and compassion. The concepts and questions we explore in this episode are: Today’s Guest: Scott Stabile Today’s Host: Matt Landsiedel Support the Show – viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes – CONNECT WITH US – – LEARN WITH US –

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The Reparenting Process

Matt Landsiedel

How do the unmet needs of our childhood shape who we are today? And more importantly, how do we learn to meet those needs for ourselves as adults? In this deeply personal and eye-opening episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we explore the re-parenting process—a therapeutic model that helps us heal old wounds, develop self-compassion, and rewrite the internal narratives we inherited from childhood. We’ll be getting personal as we reflect on on three powerful questions: 1️⃣ What needs went unmet for you as a child?2️⃣ How did you cope with these unmet needs?3️⃣ How have you learned to meet these needs for yourself as an adult? From loneliness and perfectionism to people-pleasing and self-expression, we dive into the real-life stories and coping strategies that shaped our past and the lessons we’ve learned to become the men we are today. Tune in for an honest, vulnerable, and inspiring discussion on how we can become the loving, supportive parents we always needed—for ourselves. Related Link: Inner Child Work Today’s Hosts: Support the Show – viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes – CONNECT WITH US – – LEARN WITH US –

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Developing Emotional Resilience

Michael DiIorio

In today’s episode, we’re going deeper into the topic of resilience—what it really means and how we can develop it, especially as gay men and our unique challenges. We’ll explore how the struggles we face, from feeling out of place to dealing with minority stress, can become powerful tools for personal growth. Resilience isn’t just about pushing through; it’s about learning, adapting, and thriving in the face of adversity. Some of the topics we’re discussing today include: By the end of this episode, you’ll have a fresh perspective on how to face your struggles head-on, using them to build a stronger, more resilient version of yourself. Today’s Hosts: Support the Show – viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes – CONNECT WITH US – – LEARN WITH US –

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Mindset Work VS. Body Work

Michael DiIorio

In this episode, we welcome Somatic Intimacy Coach, Vance Hedman, for an insightful discussion on the importance of both mindset work and somatic body work when dealing with emotional pain and discomfort. We delve into how each approach can be uniquely beneficial in different scenarios, particularly when it comes to intimacy, building friendships, and deepening relationships. Some of the concepts we cover today are: Learn how integrating mindset and somatic tools can lead to deeper connections and a more holistic sense of well-being where your mind and body are working in tandem towards your goals. Today’s Guest: Vance Hedman Today’s Host: Michael Diiorio Support the Show – viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes – CONNECT WITH US – – LEARN WITH US –

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Dealing with Your Inner Critic

Matt Landsiedel

In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we dive into the complexities of the inner critic—the voice in our heads that often feeds perfectionism, shame, and self-doubt. While it can feel like a harsh and relentless judge, the inner critic is actually trying to protect you in its own way. We explore how to better understand this part of ourselves, offering strategies for befriending the inner critic and cultivating a mindset of self-compassion. Some of the topics covered today are: Join us for a thoughtful discussion on turning down the volume on self-criticism and fostering a healthier, more supportive relationship with yourself. Today’s Hosts: Related Link: Support the Show – viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes – CONNECT WITH US – – LEARN WITH US –

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